Once Upon an Instant Message
by MegalegU
Summary: SuperStillinski has invited you to join the "Pack Party" chatroom. AU in which everyone is happy and there are no kanimas.


**A/N: Okay, so in this, everyone knows everyone is a wolf or a whatever and everyone is happy and nothing is crazy! ;) Tell me what you guys think! Also, the IM names are sort of self-explanatory but if you need any clarifications, just ask. **

* * *

**Sunday, July 29****th****, 8:00PM**

**SuperStillinski **has invited you to join the "Pack Party" chatroom

**Derek167**, **LaxJock, beauty_is_fleeting, HawkGirl, Dannarano, Isolated-Insomniac, I Am Not Amused, Bboy23 **and** McCallyouScott **have entered the chatroom.

**XX**

**SuperStillinski: **I'm sure you're all wondering why I've called you here tonight…

**Derek167: **Yes. Please, tell me before I spontaneously combust from the excitement.

**SuperStillinski: **You know what, let's take a quick sidebar and discuss the complete unoriginality of Derek's screen name.

**Derek167: **It's practical and it makes sense. Which is more than I can say for most of you.

**Beauty_is_fleeting: **Some people like to use creativity.

**LaxJock: **And by some people you mean, ones other than you, Lydia?

**HawkGirl: **Guys, can we get to the point here? I've got something to do…

**LaxJock: **Don't you mean SOMEONE to do? Namely, Scott, your boyfriend?

**I Am Not Amused: **Do you two ever come up for air? I swear, you get separation anxiety when one of you has to go to the bathroom.

**Isolated-Insomniac: **Just because you have a heart of darkness Erica doesn't mean everyone else does.

**McCallyouScott: **Thanks, Issac.

**Dannarano: **I'm with Allison, what's the point of this? I've got a bio lab to finish.

**SuperStillinski: **Right! So! Basically…we need to cut Walmart off our list of 'places to go shopping'.

**Bboy23: **…why?

**SuperStillinski: **Uh, does ANYONE remember what happened yesterday?

**LaxJock: **Oh, calm down. We knocked down ONE display.

**McCallyouScott: **At least no one had to go to the ER this time.

**SuperStillinski: **Can you see what you guys are typing? This is the THIRD TIME THIS MONTH you guys have been kicked out of Walmart! What the hell possesses you all to do the things you do when you enter that store? Someone, please, explain the mythology!

**I Am Not Amused: **Well, maybe if the people that worked there were a little nicer I wouldn't have had to assert my opinion in such an intense way.

**SuperStillinski: **You seriously almost phased right in the cereal aisle.

**Derek167: **I'm going to swing out of character for one millisecond to say that Stiles has a point. You need to learn control.

**McCallyouScott: **I have plenty of control! I never did anything to get us kicked out.

**Isolated-Insomniac: **This is the part where we all look pointedly at Boyd.

**Bboy23: **What? Why me?

**Isolated-Insomniac: **You took a Barbie motorized jeep through the produce section!

**Bboy23: **The toy aisle is on the other side of the store. It would have taken me at least an entire minute to reach the nectarines!

**SuperStillinski: **See, Boyd, NORMAL people that shop at Walmart WALK from aisle to aisle. They don't go all Grand Theft Auto on innocent toddlers.

**Bboy23: **That accusation is ridiculous – the little girl was finished with the toy!

**Derek167: **If by finished, you mean still happily driving it, then yes.

**SuperStillinski: **And let's not forget what happened to the Dairy aisle.

**Isolated-Insomniac: **I swear, I had whipped cream in my hair for DAYS.

**SuperStillinski: **As Pack Mother, I decree we exclusively shop at Whole Foods from now on.

**Beauty_is_fleeting: **Pack mother?

**HawkGirl: **That is…um…

**McCallyouScott: **Seriously?

**SuperStillinski: **What? I am technically the mom! I clean up after all of you, dispute the fights…cook the food.

**Isolated-Insomniac: **I think it's fine.

**HawkGirl: **Well of course YOU do – Stiles makes you snicker doodles whenever you want.

**Isolated-Insomniac: **Sounds like someone is jealous they don't get any!

**LaxJock: **Oh, she gets something, alright.

**I Am Not Amused: **Can you please stop with the innuendos?

**LaxJock: **I'm hurt. How do you know how I was making an innuendo? I could be referencing something else entirely.

**I Am Not Amused: **Oh, I sincerely doubt that.

**SuperStillinski: **Um, ANYWAYS – next time we go grocery shopping, either we commute to a different store or you are all getting leashes.

**Bboy23: **Alright, whatever, fine!

**Derek167: **I really think I should assert the fact that I'M THE ALPHA once in a while.

**SuperStillinski: **Oh, Derek. You poor, misguided soul.

**Tuesday, August 8****th****, 4:24PM**

**SuperStillinski **has invited you to the "Operation: Derek's Surprise Party" chatroom.

**LaxJock, beauty_is_fleeting, HawkGirl, Dannarano, Isolated-Insomniac, I Am Not Amused, Bboy23 **and** McCallyouScott **have entered the chatroom.

**XX**

**SuperStillinski: **Alright guys – everyone's all set for the party?

**McCallyouScott: **Yep, got the chocolate cake.

**HawkGirl: **I have the streamers and confetti!

**LaxJock: **For some unknown reason, I have a piñata.

**SuperStillinski: **That'll go to good use, trust me.

**Beauty_is_fleeting: **Do you think Derek will be okay with this? Don't you remember the last time we surprised him by re-painting his living room?

**SuperStillinski: **…okay…you may have point there. But this is different – we're not doing anything permanent.

**I Am Not Amused: **Says you! You don't have to live with him. He can be a real grouch in the mornings.

**Isolated-Insomniac: **Yeah. I'm going to go with Erica on this one. I'll know when it's safe if I don't hear any screams of terror.

**SuperStillinski: **Aw, Issac, you don't need to hide!

**SuperStillinski: **Issac?

**Isolated-Insomniac has left the chatroom. **

**SuperStillinski: **Don't worry guys. He'll come around when he realizes the cake is triple-chocolate.

**Friday, August 17****th****, 8:00AM**

**SuperStillinski **has invited you to the "Who the hell took my Jeep, seriously, guys, who?" chatroom.

**Derek167**, **LaxJock, beauty_is_fleeting, HawkGirl, Dannarano, Isolated-Insomniac, I Am Not Amused, Bboy23 **and** McCallyouScott **have entered the chatroom.

**XX**

**SuperStillinski: **Come on, guys. Who took it?

**Beauty_is_fleeting: **Took what?

**SuperStillinski: **Oh, don't even. You know.

**Derek167: **What are you talking about?

**SuperStillinski: **Don't act like you don't know!

**McCallyouScott: **Dude, Stiles, what are you talking about?

**SuperStillinski: **What do you THINK?

**I Am Not Amused: **I don't understand why I even bother to wake up early for THIS.

**Bboy23: **Me and you both, sweetheart.

**HawkGirl: **Stiles?

**SuperStillinski: **My JEEP, you nimrods! My jeep! Where the hell is it?

**LaxJock: **Why would we ever take that piece of crap willingly?

**SuperStillinski: **Oh, I don't know, to mess with me? Like you guys always do!

**Isolated-Insomniac: **I don't mess with you!

**SuperStillinski: **Not now, Issac.

**Derek167: **Stiles, you should try controlling all that hostility.

**SuperStillinski: **Don't you dare try to pull your I'm-an-Alpha-and-therefore-a-therapist crap with me! You guys took my Jeep!

**Dannarano: **And to repeat Jackson's question: WHY?

**SuperStillinski: **Because you're all idiots. Because you're extremely bored and lead uneventful lives. Because you refuse to acknowledge the awesomeness of my baby. Pick any of the three.

**McCallyouScott: **Dude, you are way overreacting. Why don't you just check the forest or something? Maybe you forgot you parked there.

**SuperStillinski: **Is that your hint that you've put my Jeep somewhere in the woods?

**McCallyouScott: **…no…

**SuperStillinski: **Yep. It is. You guys can't pull one over on me! I'm going to get my baby back!

**SuperStillinski **has left the chatroom.

**Isolated-Insomniac: **When do you think he's going to realize that it's actually on the school roof?

**McCallyouScott: **Probably Monday.

**Dannarano: **I elect Derek to take his wrath until then!

**Bboy23: **Seconded!

**LaxJock: **Deal.

**Derek167: **Wait, what?

**HawkGirl: **Have fun!

**McCallyouScott: **See ya!

**Derek167: **Guys?

**LaxJock, beauty_is_fleeting, HawkGirl, Dannarano, Isolated-Insomniac, I Am Not Amused, Bboy23 **and** McCallyouScott **have left the chatroom.

**Derek167: **I have no control over these people anymore.

* * *

_The end! _


End file.
